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Hallmark Channel Apologizes for Disruption Caused by Dumb Bass Organization


(PLANESCAPE - D20NN) Hallmark Channel corporate leaders apologized early Monday morning for a disruption in programming caused by protests from a pseudo-righteous group after discovering the group had no representational standing.


As you may have heard, Hallmark Channel recently pulled advertising from Yentob, a jewelry vendor serving much of the Planescape, after its latest commercial featured marriage proposals from same-sex and non-binary couples.


The group 'One Million Merfolk' protested the advertising on social and religious decency grounds, and Hallmark pulled the ads, severely cutting down the runtime of its annual "Countdown to Critmas" movie marathon.


The sudden lack of advertising meant that the runtime of the premiere for "Critmas Wishes and Mistletoe Kisses" was cut by nearly 20 minutes. A domino effect caused by the time shortage meant those that chose to record the annual showing of multiverse classic double fature "Critmas Scavenger Hunt" and "Critmas in Eberron: Tidings of Joy" did not receive the full program.


It was learned in a D20NNvestigation that "One Million Merfolk" was actually fronted by a group of just over 100,000 severely mutated Merrow. Merrow are usually considered large monstrosities, but this particular breed, hobbled by decades of inbreeding and chemical misadventures, have sub-normal height deficiencies and a combined IQ of 102. Officially, they are classified as "dumb bass."


Hallmark Channel apologized for acting on the pressure group of dumb bass and promised to reinstate the advertising as soon as possible.


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